Man Draft
by LaTrabrasera
Summary: once you start reading all shall become clear. We will also be taking suggestion for who should draft who. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

_**1st annual General Hospital Man draft for charity**_

Coleman set the second bottle of tequila in front of the group of women. He took them in; the original group-Liz Webber, Robin Scorpio-Drake, Lainie Winters, Kelly Lee. Recently joined by Nadine Crowell, Leyla Mir in tow. Add to the count One Mrs. (soon to be ex) Jax, Carly and her new BFF Olivia Falconeri. It was looking to be a lively evening.

"What brings you lovely ladies out tonight? Just looking for a bit a hard drinkin'?"

Liz popped her head up and answered.

"Because the men of Port Charles are bitches!"

There were rounds of 'Yeah!' and 'Hell Yeah!'.

Carly added to Liz's point.

"While we sat in our homes, the men of this town are out doing their broody man-shit. And I for one am tired of it. Ladies?"

There were more 'Yeah's' and Hell Yeah's'.

"I think the men of this town need attitude adjustments," Robin threw in.

"Tell 'im girl," Liz said, sucking down another shot of tequila.

"Like, Patrick thinks I'm suffering from post-partum just because I don't want to have sex… Maybe I just don't want to have sex, it's not like I got my figure back…"

"Shut up and have another shot, skinny bitch," Liz said, laughing.

"I have not been laid in a year and a half! I think that's getting the addiction under control. I need to get banged!" Kelly said, feeling the tequila.

Coleman raised an eyebrow, Kelly's drunken self, however, did not notice.

"Preach it sister," Olivia said, licking the salt, slamming the shot and sticking the lime slice in her mouth. She made a face and blew out her breath. "Last time I got the pipes cleaned… was like 5 years ago."

"I got you beat, my man runs fire hot and arctic cold. One minute it's 'drop the panties' the next it's 'I want a divorce'. I have to say, the men of PC are bitches."

Liz's head popped up.

"Did hell just freeze over or did Carly agree with me? 'Cause I kinda figured hell would freeze over first."

The women laughed.

Leyla, pink in the cheeks, chose that moment to interject.

"You want to teach the men of PC a lesson? 'Cause I have an idea… On my weekend off, I was watching a marathon of my favorite show 'One Shrub Drive'… And all the girls did this… Fantasy boy draft…"

Carly perked up.

"Like in Football?"

"Yeah," Leyla said. "They got numbers, picked guys and had the one they wanted. Of course, it was a soap, so it didn't go perfect… But the idea, I think, is good."

Carly nodded, so did some of the other women.

Robin, however, held out.

"What is the point of this? It's not making much sense to me…" she said.

"Shut up," Liz said, laughing. "You're drunk."

Robin bumped Liz with her shoulder.

Carly's eyes glittered.

"No, I totally see it…" she said. "We all pick a guy and take him out. Let's objectify the men of Port Charles and we'll do it in the name of charity."

"She's been trying to figure out a theme for her charity event," Olivia said, easing off the tequila.

"The one for Michael?" Liz asked quietly.

Carly looked proud.

"The 1st Annual Port Charles Man Draft Benefit for the Michael Corinthos III Pediatric Head Trauma Unit. That'll do, they can't say no to charity…"

"You're serious? You're married…" Robin said.

"So, are you. But Jax's name is still getting thrown in the hat. It's a date-type thing, not a sex thing." She looked over at Kelly. "Or whatever you want… Whatever you want to do on your date."

Kelly smiled.

"Okay," Robin said, "I guess I can toss Patrick's name in the hat in the name of charity… But no funny business. I want him back they way I sent him!"

Carly stood up and grabbed her purse.

"This is a great idea! I'm gonna sober up, work this out and make some calls. By next week I'll have a plan." She turned to Olivia. "You want a ride, got the driver waiting out front…"

"I think I will, I don't know if I can hang out with these hard drinkin' women…" Olivia said, lifting her purse onto her shoulder.

"Light-weight," Liz called as the women left.

Olivia just smiled and waved her goodbyes.

Nadine turned to Robin.

"Do you really think she's gonna do a Man Draft?"

Robin smiled.

"I know you're new, but if Carly wants something done, she gets it done. One way or the other…"

"Well, I hope I haven't caused too much trouble…" Leyla mumbled as she stumbled towards the ladies room. Nadine caught up with her and gave her a hand.

"If I have to hold your hair back, it might test the bonds of our friendship," Nadine said.

________

Jax opened the door to Carly's office.

"'Charity Man Draft'?" he asked, settling in the chair opposite her.

"How…" she started. "Coleman! I totally forgot there was testosterone in the room…"

"Yes, Coleman let me know about your little plan. And what makes you think any man in town will agree to this-"

"Well, if any man in this town wants to get laid again, I can see them agreeing. It's not like I'm setting up a cathouse…. I mean a doghouse. It is for charity, not just for the personal gratification of the women of Port Charles. That's just a bonus." He continued to look questioning. "There are rules, you have to be nominated, and honestly, Jax, I don't see you making it anyway."

He looked affronted.

"What? First, you think it's objectionable, now you're miffed you may not be considered?"

Jax opened his mouth.

"Don't worry about it, there will be a letter out to all nominated men. All the rules will be in it. You might get one." She took a deep breath. "Now… I'm busy, so…"

Jax blinked.

"That was a hint," Carly said, motioning to the door.

Jax got up and left, the look of wonder still on his face.

_________

**Ladies of Port Charles: You are cordially invited to**

**the 1****st**** Annual Port Charles Man Draft Benefit for the Michael Corinthos III Pediatric Head Trauma Unit**

**At the Metro Court Ballroom, February 25****th**** 2009**

Draft Candidates must have a least five desirable qualities and two nominations. The men then have to match the amount of their draft picker's donation.

1. To become a Drafter the lady has to make a donation of 5,000 to a 100,000 dollars to pediatric head traumas unit.

2. 5,000 will get you a date with your draft pick and that date will end with a kiss. Air, friendly or something more, up to you and your Draft Pick.

3. 10,000 - 50,000 will get you 3 dates with the activity of your choice.

4. 50,000-100,000 will get you 5 themed dates.

5. Over 100,000 will get you a 3 day weekend to the destination of you choice anywhere in the United States.

If your are unhappy with your draft pick you can swap but again all participants must be in agreement. You can't sell your draft number, attempting to do so will get you disqualified from the draft and your number put back in to the hat.

First meeting to discuss Draft Picks will be February 3rd in Conference Room B at the Metro Court. Come prepared, ladies. Let's Draft a man for charity!

Carly Corinthos Jax

_________

Almost all the women of Port Charles gathered in Conference Room B, sipping champagne cocktails and enjoying delectable nibbles while waiting for the event coordinator, Mrs. Jax.

Some of the women began to speculate.

"So, who are you nominating?" Leyla asked Nadine.

Before she could answer, there was an outburst at the entrance.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Maxi Jones shouted.

Lulu managed not to blush but couldn't keep the waver out of her voice.

"I'm a woman and I live in Port Charles, I was invited."

"Yeah, but it's not like you have $5000, you just had to borrow money off of your cousin to pay the rent," Maxi shot back.

Robin took the initiative.

"Keep it friendly, ladies." she said as Carly walked in with her assistant.

"Besides," Carly said, "No one said it had to be your money. Doesn't matter who donates the money as long as the check clears."

Carly got everyone's attention and began the meeting.

"So, here we go. We'll start nominating men for the draft, and like I said in the invite, they need 5 good qualities and a second on the nomination. Who wants to start?"

Maxi's hand shot into the air.

"I nominate my best friend, one Damien 'the Jackal' Spinelli."

Carly grinned.

"Seconded," Leyla said quickly.

"And his desirable qualities…" Carly continued.

"Easy," Maxi said, "He's super smart, sweet-"

"Charming, witty and adorable," Leyla finished.

"Good," Carly said. "Next?"

As the night wore on the stats were as follows:

**Nominated by Maxi and Leyla : Damien Spinelli- smart, adorable, affectionate, charming, witty.**

**By Lulu and Claudia : Johnny Zacchara- Nice body, good hair, nice voice, cute, musical**

**By Liz, Carly and many others : Jason Morgan- Smoke hot body, strikingly blue eyes, mysterious, bad boy, Charismatic**

**By Nadine and Alexis : Nikolas Cassadine- Rich, Prince, genteel, charming, courteous**

**By Robin and Epiphany : Matt Hunter- Smart, nice hair, quiet, good with kids, attractive**

**By Claudia and Olivia : Rick Lansing- Not Sonny, nice hair, cute, smart, good with his mouth**

(Someone in the back of the room raised a hand.

"Excuse me?" Alexis said. "We're putting Rick friggin' Lansing on the list?"

Carly played mediator.

"Claudia and Olivia came up with five good qualities and that's what you needed to make the list."

"Well," Alexis went on, "I'll make up 5 good qualities about Sonny, get him on the list."

"I agree," Diane said, "since we seem to be letting any douche baggy asshole on the list…"

"We had this argument half an hour ago, ladies. Not one woman can come up with one desirable quality for the man. I was married to him 4 times, and I got nothing."

Olivia perked up.

"And any good qualities he may have are tossed out by the fact that he's an asshole."

"And one of Rick's defining qualities is that he is NOT Sonny," Claudia said, "You have your choice of Mike Corbin or Trevor Lansing's spawn…. Oh, I'm not helping."

"I've never actually had sex with Sonny," Liz said, "but I have been with Rick and will second the 'good with his mouth' qualification."

Robin looked over at her friend.

"I'm going to ask you nicely to lay off the champagne cocktails and eat something…"

"Come on! Alexis, Claudia, Sam? Agree or disagree?"

There was a three count of assent.

"All right," Carly said, "Now that we have established why Rick is on the list, thanks for that Liz, we can move on.)

**By Carly and Kate : Jasper Jacks- Rich, tall, blonde, debonair, clever.**

**By Diane and Carly : Max Giambetti- sweet, charming, protective, lovable, attractive.**

**By Lulu and Kelly : Milo Giambetti- sweet, charming, protective, lovable, cute.**

**By Lainie and Diane : Cody Paul- mysterious, bad boy, calm, diligent, gorgeous.**

**By Tracy and Monica : Mayor Garrett Floyd- power, blue eyed, nice body, amiable, nice hands.**

**By Monica and Tracy : Mike Corbin- attractive older man, good cook, charming, sweet, helpful**

**By Alice and Lainie : Cruz Rodriguez- Trustworthy, attractive, dedicated, good dancer, nice body**

**By Lainie and Epiphany : David Harper- Trustworthy, attractive, dedicated, musical, nice body**

**By Robin and Liz : Patrick Drake- smart, adventurous, sporty, charming, attractive**

**By Sam and Maxi : Lucky Spencer- dedicated, attractive, nice body, good with kids, spontaneous**

**By Maxi and Robin : Mac Scorpio- attractive, earnest, honest, family man, dedicated.**

After the noms were done Carly produced a bag.

"I have here a bag full of compacts that hold your Pick number for the Man Draft. My assistant will randomly walk around the room and we'll pick our numbers."

Carly took a seat and her assistant began the number process. At the end the ladies called out their numbers:

Elizabeth Webber, "One."

Carly Jax, "Eight."

Robin Scorpio-Drake, "Nineteen."

Kelly Lee, "Five."

Leyla Mir, "Twelve."

Maxie Jones, "Three."

Lulu Spencer, "Eighteen."

Diana Miller, "Four."

Alexis Davis, "Ten."

Nadine Crowell, "Two."

Claudia Corinthos, "Seventeen."

Sam McCall, "Eleven."

Lainie Winters, "Nine."

Kate Howard, "Sixteen."

Olivia Falconeri, "Seven."

Tracy Quartermaine, "Thirteen."

Monica Quartermaine, "Fifteen."

Alice, "Six."

Epiphany Johnson, "Fourteen."

"Great," Carly said. "Everyone has a number. But I'd like to remind you if you're unhappy with your number…. Robin…. You can trade, but we all have to agree and no money can change hands. Other than that, I will see you in the ballroom on February 25th!"

The meeting broke up and ladies headed for the exit.

"Leyla!" Robin called, moving through the crowd.

The other woman stopped and turned.

"Yes?"

Robin looked down.

"I was hoping you'd trade me numbers so I could pick Patrick before any of these women got any funny ideas…"

Leyla laughed.

"It's just for fun and it's just a number, so sure. But how-"

Robin stopped her.

"I'll handle the permission thing. So, yes?"

"Yes," Leyla said.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Most of the men of Port Charles, many of them incredibly wealthy, filed into the conference room of the Metro Court with various looks of surprise and irritation on their faces. Some were surprised at who else was there, some were irritated at the vague letter and the required attendance to find out what was going on.

But file in they did, grabbed beverage and the odd nosh, seated themselves and waited.

Carly swept in shortly after they were most of the way into their adult beverage of choice, looking irritable herself.

"Gentlemen… Jeanine's going to call a roll to make sure everyone who was supposed to be here is here and then we can get started."

Carly took a seat and Jeanine began calling names.

"Damien Spinelli?"

The young man raised his hand nervously.

The following names were called; John Zacchara, Jason Morgan, Nikolas Cassadine, Matt Hunter, Patrick Drake, Cody Paul, Ric Lansing, Jasper Jacks, Milo and Max Giambetti, Garrett Floyd, Mike Corbin, Mac Scorpio, David Harper, Cruz Rodriguez, Lucky Spencer, Jerry Jacks and Coleman, all in attendance.

Carly stood and took the floor.

"Earlier this week, the women of Port Charles were in this very room. Many of them had the same looks of confusion and annoyance on their faces. But once all was explained, they left incredibly happy.

"You gentlemen are here for the First Annual Port Charles Charity Man Draft for the Michael Corinthos III Pediatric Head Trauma Unit. You're in this room because you were nominated by at least two women, 5 good qualities were named and we began a list. There are 2 more in your numbers than originally nominated due to an oversight on my assistant's part."

Carly looked sharply at Jeanine

"We were 2 men short, so an executive decision was made and here we are. If you don't get the concept of the draft, ask someone more into sports."

Carly started to go over the event when Lucky interrupted.

"So it's like a Bachelor Auction?"

Carly rolled her eyes.

"No, nimrod. Look around you. Many of these men are spoken for if not married." She looked pointedly at Jax. "This is a Man Draft and if you'll let me get on with it, I'll explain the particulars…"

"What if we opt out of your little 'Man Draft'?" Jax said.

Carly took a big, exasperated breath and fought the urge to slap him in the back of the head.

"You would opt out of a charity event for a little boy in a coma, and for all the little boys and girls like him? Well, that's up to you, but I'd prepare myself for scorn and ridicule for the rest of my days." She narrowed her eyes. "There is the added fact that secrets are not kept that well in this city, so are we going to play nice, or do I bring out the big guns?"

She smiled pleasantly at Jax.

"Did I sufficiently answer your question?"

Carly went on.

"The Draft worked like this; the women gathered, they nominated, the were assigned Draft Pick numbers and those numbers went in a hat. The women picked numbers and that gives them their place in the line up. You gentlemen are the draftees. A woman will pick you, you will donate at least half of what they put in to the charity-"

John Zacchara cut her off.

"I'm not rolling in dough, Carly…"

Before Carly could answer Ric intervened.

"You always have the family to fall back on. Just come back and I'm sure your father would make all the necessary funds available to you," he said casually.

"F-Y-M," John replied.

Ric blinked and smirked.

Carly cleared her throat.

"Done?"

She looked at the two.

"Good." She went on. "The woman who picks you will not likely go out of your price range, but if you're really worried about it, you could always ask the 'Claw', I'm sure she'll help you out.

"Getting back to the point… You're picked, you donate, you go on a date that has to end with some kind of kiss-"

Patrick interrupted her this time.

"I'm married. I can't go kissing other women."

"Your wife put you on the list, so relax. And, the kiss can be completely platonic. How slutty you are is up to you."

"What if we don't like who picks us?" Cruz asked.

"This isn't a dating service, it's a charity. You have a meal with someone and you call it a night. So, you, secure your big boy underoos and suck it up.

"Additionally, dependent on the amount the woman in question donates, there are various activities up to and including a weekend getaway anywhere in the world. And I can see you getting all antsy, so let me put your fears to rest. There's a pretty good chance you're going to picked by the woman you are dating or married to. If you're unattached, take it as a chance at having a good time.

"So, unclench, lay off the hair product, hit the gym, spiff up your wardrobe… Generally get yourselves pretty for us. The women of Port Charles are watching and deciding. Keep that in mind if you get the urge to pick your nose or adjust yourself in a public place.

"Any questions?"

Ric Lansing smirked and looked around the room.

"I think we're all wondering how you got that many women in one room with out massive cat fights…"

Carly blew out her breath.

"Despite your obvious disdain for women, we can gather in a room and make coherent decisions together. Though it does help that alcohol was provided.

"Any other questions?" She paused a beat. "No, good. See you in two weeks-"

The conference room doors flew open and Sonny strode in.

"Carly," he said, "a word?"

"That was three," she replied.

"Carly," he said, his voice harder.

"Whatever," she said to herself, then aloud, "That's the show fellas, see you in two weeks. Bye."

Jax stood, looking as if he was going to stay. Carly shot him a look and he left with the rest of the men.

"Yes, Sonny?"

"How is it that there is a charity event in my son's name that I'm just finding out about?"

"Well, it's like this. There was a short list, and you weren't on it," Carly replied, grinning.

"I heard the thing about the Man Draft… I'm not on the list?" He tried to smile charmingly.

"If you heard about the Draft, then you know the criteria. Two noms and 5 good qualities. We couldn't get five women to give one good quality regarding you. And anything positive said was outweighed by the fact that you're a massive tool."

Sonny grimaced.

"Your wife didn't nominate you, your almost-wife didn't, I, your 5 times ex wife didn't. All the women in your orbit gladly chose to leave you off the list. I'm going to say this, and I don't mean it in a hurtful way, but that's what you get when you're a douche bag."

"I didn't really be on the silly ass list anyway," sonny said petulantly.

Carly rolled her eyes.

"Oh, grow up- Oops, sorry, you're only going to get this tall."

Carly could feel the potential for a huge fight brewing, she decided to defuse instead of continuing to inflame.

"This event is for your son," she said, starting the manipulation train. "And some of those idiots won't be able to match half of what the women donate. You could…" She stopped. "You know what? Never mind, I shouldn't ask."

"So, you're saying you want me to make up the difference if someone can't fulfill their obligation?" Sonny asked.

Carly took a step back.

"No, absolutely not. I wouldn't ask that of you. Even though it would mean more money for the Head Trauma Unit…"

"But it sounded like-"

"It doesn't matter what it sounded like, Sonny," Carly said gathering her purse. 'I have to go…"

"Listen," Sonny said, stepping in front of her. "I'll make up the difference on every short donation and make a huge one of my own, but name has to go on each donation I help out with."

Carly pretended to consider it. She pretended for a minute or so.

"I don't know…" She took a deep breath. "Alright… If you insist. We'll do it exactly like you said."

Sonny looked inordinately pleased with himself. Carly suppressed an evil giggle.

"I really have to go, Sonny," she said and made a retreat before the laughter bubbled over.

* * *

It was a week before the event and the rumors and speculation were flying fast and furious. Who was going to pick whom, who wouldn't get picked at all, who was going to donate how much and who was going to try to make their 'date' very memorable.

Kelly Lee, Robin and Liz were in the locker room.

"Who are you going to pick?" Robin asked the other two women.

Kelly piped up.

"I don't really know yet, but whoever it is… Gonna rid him 'til I'm bow-legged!" She made the accompanying horse riding gestures and let out a whoop.

"That's vulgar," Robin said.

Liz just grinned.

"I haven't seen a grown man's penis in over two years. They're all in the womb or fresh out of it. So, I'm getting ready."

Robin looked to Liz. The other woman shrugged.

"I'm keeping my options open," she said as Kelly continued to hop around the locker room on her imaginary saddle occasionally calling out 'Ride 'em, cowgirl!'

The other two women laughed.

"Seriously," Robin said, "You're the first person to pick and you're not taking Jason?"

Liz sighed.

"I've had so much off and on with that man that maybe I need something new. Maybe I could go out on a friendly date with Patrick. We could go bowling, hit the food court at the mall…"

There was another round of laughing, this time joined by Kelly who was pulling on her lab coat.

"If you're not going to pick Jason…" Kelly said with a leer.

Liz looked placidly at Kelly to Robin's shock and awe.

"What I can say, Kelly, is that if you're looking to end your drought you could do worse than Jason," Liz said, oblivious to Robin's jaw laying on the floor.

"Stop it girl, " Kelly said as she headed out the door. "You're giving me ideas."

* * *

"Fair Maximista… Could you not give the Jackal an idea who falls where numerically?" Spinelli asked, handing the young woman a diet soda, twist of orange and the latest fashion magazine.

"Bribery won't work Spinelli. I'm not telling," she said taking the items. "But, I heard rumors…"

"Do tell, Maximista…" Spinelli said, trying not to sound too eager.

"Well, some women are really looking forward to the Man Draft. Kelly Lee's date is going to have a 'happy ending', if you know what I mean. Diane is going to kill any woman who chooses Max and the 'Claw' wants Jason so bad she named her vibrator after him."

Jason, looking up from his paper, looked shocked.

"How do you know these things?"

Maxi rolled her eyes.

"Duh, we were all in a room, talking about men and drinking. Things were said."

"What else was said?" Jason asked.

"Like what did Liz say?" Maxi teased.

Jason said nothing.

"I'm not telling. But I will say, you need to pull yourself together. Get the roots done, work on the six pack, choose something in the color spectrum. I'd start wooing her ass right now. No, I would have started wooing her a week ago, but that's because I knew there was a Draft and you didn't."

"You're helpful, Maxi," Jason said.

She smiled sweetly.

* * *

It was the night of the event. Everyone was dressing, dressed or heading out the door. The First Annual Port Charles Charity Man Draft was promising to be the most talked about event of the year.

Liz entered the ball room, looking around. She didn't see anyone she wanted to talk to immediately so she went to her seat. Very soon, everyone was seated and the MC, a local event coordinator, Martine Massoon took up the mic.

"Let's waste no more time. Calling for our first Draft Picker of the night, Miss Elizabeth Webber."

Liz stood and went to the podium on the small stage. She took a deep breath and let it out.

"I pick…" She paused, hoping it added tension. "Cody Paul."

TBC…..


	3. Chapter 3

The Port Charles 1st Annual Man Draft

Chapter 3

By Trabrasera and BlondieBoots

Rated PG-13 for some language.

A.N.- We love you guys. You kick ass.

* * *

Jason didn't respond. He sat quietly in his seat, staring a hole through the back of Cody Paul's head. It was bad enough that Elizabeth had chosen him, he had to sit with her through the other 18 picks. Cody sat there, stock still. 'My boss is going to kill me,' running through his head.

Liz sat back down at the table, pointedly not looking at Jason. She was contemplating her pick. She was deciding if it was worth it. She was half way through talking herself out of it when Robin leaned over.

"Okay, I thought you were kidding when you were talking to Kelly. You realize that she'll pick him now if someone doesn't scoop him up first," she said quietly.

Liz continued not to look at Jason.

"What Jason does is up to him."

Robin blinked. 'Whoa,' she thought.

"And you realize that she plans to ride him hard and put him away wet?" she continued.

Liz made a face Robin couldn't quite discern.

"Okay… It's your date," Robin said finally then leaned over to Patrick. "If you touch another woman I'll remove your testicles."

Patrick started in his seat.

"But… You nominated me…"

"That was before… Before I realized there were women who were going to start trouble. Though I should have known."

"Yeah, you should have," Patrick shot back. "Now, I have to go out on a 'date' with some random woman… It's degrading."

Robin rolled her eyes.

"When they start doing a Mr. America Pageant with bathing suit, evening wear, talent and a silly ass Q&A, then we can talk about degrading."

"Hey," Patrick said, "Those girls get scholarships."

"And how many of them are curing cancer or bringing about world peace."

Patrick blinked.

"How did this happen?"

Robin looked at him.

"This conversation?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm going with accidentally."

"Right. We should pay attention," Patrick said motion to the podium.

Robin put her game face on, sparing a glance at Liz, who was enjoying her Waldorf salad with gusto.

'That woman has balls,' Robin thought before turning her attention back to the stage.

Martine the MC called for the woman with the second pick.

Nadine pulled herself together and headed for the podium. Once there, she smoothed her hair and said in a clear voice, "Max Giambetti."

Diane went purple, nearly choking on her water. Nadine scurried back to her seat and tried to hide the grin.

"You're poking a very dangerous bear," Maxi said in Nadine's ear.

"Whatever, I wanted a mob guy, but more like a teddy bear. That would be Max. Plus, I hear he likes to fish"

"It's your neck," Maxi sighed as she stood to go to the podium. She shocked her cousin by choosing Patrick. She even made the 'neener neener neener' face as she left the stage.

"Talk about poking a bear," Nadine said, ignoring Diane's piercing glare. "That's a Mama Bear. She'll eat you."

"I'm just keeping the little Robin on her toes, which is why I didn't tell her I was going to pick Patrick and trade for whoever she got. I was just gonna let her sweat it out."

"She's not sweating, she's killing you in her head," Nadine said. "I can see what she's thinking. It has something to do with a sledge hammer and a shallow grave…"

Diane stood up and strode to the podium. She didn't hesitate.

"Nikolas Cassadine," she said, enunciating carefully.

Nadine pinked slightly, but otherwise remained calm.

Nikolas turned to Nadine.

"Why didn't you pick me?"

"Weren't you paying attention when Maxi asked?" Nadine replied.

"But… Diane…"

Nadine blew out her breath.

"What the worst she'll do? Make you shoe shop? Get over it."

Kelly Lee had just taken the podium.

"What were you women thinking? We spent two weeks sizing these guys up, comparing attributes, narrowing the playing field. Now, it's too late. I pick Jason Morgan."

The crowd went hush, except for the 'What?' that escaped Jason's lips. And the 'No shit' that Maxi said aloud.

Kelly sat back down at the table.

"Jason, just so you know. You will need to have had all the appropriate medical screenings and I hope you've been taking your vitamins, because you, sir, are going to be busy," she said as she sat down.

Liz tried to hide the laugh behind her napkin, thankfully, Jason didn't catch it.

"I'm serious," Kelly continued. "Get your physical and your shots. We're going abroad. And if at all possible could you leave your cape in the closet," Kelly took a long swig of her champagne and smiled devilishly at the man.

Jason for his part sat there quietly, trying to figure what the hell just happened.

'I don't understand,' he thought. 'Where did I go wrong?'

There was another kafuffle when Alice picked Jax. Carly looked amused as Alice sat back down. She even chuckled to herself a little bit. Now, would she save Jax from being Alice's wrestling partner, or let him take the bumps and bruises? She pondered as Olivia took the stage and picked Matt Hunter.

'Cougar,' Carly thought as she glanced at Jax, who was tugging at his collar, looking extremely uncomfortable. Alice was making the universal sign for pile driver from her table and Jax did not like the look of it.

Carly stood up and took the podium.

"This is because Sam McCall annoys me. Lucky, you're taking me to dinner."

No one pretended to be shocked, even though they were cousins. Carly was clearly up to something.

Lainie picked Cruz. Alexis picked Mac. Sam picked Harper. Robin stood up and glared at Maxi when she said Spinelli. Tracy picked Mayor Floyd because her shiftless, alcoholic husband was nowhere to be found. Epiphany picked Coleman, to his chagrin, though he smiled. Brown sugar and all that. Monica chose Mike. Kate, half cocked on champagne slurred out Ric Lansing. Claudia picked Milo Giambetti, because it was him or her brother or God help her, Jerry Jacks. Lulu, happy as a clam, picked Johnny. And Leyla was left with Jerry Jacks.

There was much buzz in the grand ballroom.

Especially when Diane stood and stalked over to Nadine's side of the table. Shaking a little, Nadine stood and faced her.

Just as it looked like all hell was going to break loose, they smiled at each other.

"Trade you," Diane said saucily.

"I guess I'll take the prince," Nadine sighed.

The two women looked out at the crowd for objections, then shook on it and sat back down.

Jason was hoping Liz and Kelly were going to do something like that, but then the night wore on and they didn't. Coming back from the men's room, he watched her head out to the balcony. He followed her.

He cleared his throat.

"So, you and Kelly are gonna trade, right?" he asked once out there.

She turned to him.

"Why would we? You scared of the little, Asian doctor?"

Jason shook his head.

"Why didn't you pick me?" he asked.

"Why? Are your feelings hurt?"

"Is that what you were aiming for. A little get back for us not being together anymore?"

"I guess one could look at it that way. You broke up with me and then softened the blow, you thought, by giving me 5 million dollars. And you want me to stand up in a ballroom full of people, most of whom had no idea we were even in a relationship and claim you? You, Jason, are a hypocrite. I'd like a sure thing. Cody looks like a sure thing."

Jason's jaw tightened.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go chat up my date. You should probably do the same, make sure you set the safety word. You already have something in common, you both know what my lady business looks like."

With that parting shot, Liz left the balcony and went back into the ballroom.

The night wore on and Leyla sat down next to Alexis, who was by herself at the table.

"You didn't really want to pick Mac did you?" she asked.

Alexis laughed.

"I know, but Kelly got to Jason first…" she laughed.

"That is not what I meant," Leyla said softly. "I know you have been in a relationship with Jerry, but now you are not."

"DA's and criminals shouldn't date," Alexis said tartly.

"No matter what your job is, you still care for him. And I for one want a date with the police commissioner. I propose a trade."

Alexis looked at her over her wine glass. She thought about it.

"I have a bit of an Electra complex and I'd rather work it out with the Commissioner than Jerry."

Alexis laughed.

"Trade," she said, and the women shook on it.

Carly joined Alice at her table, where Alice had been knocking back a few.

"So, I don't think I can let you bruise my husband," she said.

Alice smiled.

"But I wanted to see if he could take the sleeper hold…"

"Lucky is much better at taking the abuse. Hell, he dates that she-devil Sam."

Alice looked at Carly.

"I guess he does look like a cream puff, your mister…"

"Glass jaw, that one," Carly put in. "One hit and he's down."

"Fair enough… Trade."

Carly shook Alice's hand and went back to her table. She failed to tell him that he was no longer Alice's date. She watched him glance over at Alice and squirm all night. Carly had a good time.

Kelly walked up to Jason.

"Hey, how's it going? Anyway… Meet me at the PC airport in the private lounge on Saturday at 7pm." She leered at him. Bring your passport, stud."

She walked by him and gave his ass the full rub and cup.

"Nice," she said as she walked away.

* * *

The next day, Sam, having found out Carly traded Lucky for Jax, made her way to the Quartermaine mansion.

Alice, of course, answered the door.

"No," Alice said as she opened the door.

"You don't even know why I'm here."

"I know I got the date with your man and now you're here," Alice said shortly. "And that Harper guy doesn't look like he can take a hit."

"Come on Alice, cut me some slack…" Sam wheedled.

"No, I already traded with Mrs. Corinthos-Jax. I've always wanted to practice the wrestling moves with Mr. Luke's son. So, if you don't want anything else, I have dusting to do," she said and closed the door in Sam's face.

She stood there stunned and then headed to the precinct to plan her date with Harper. Maybe it would make Lucky jealous and she'd get some decent, angry sex.

* * *

Kate was hung over the next day. Her head throbbed and she cried a little when the door bell went.

She was less than pleased to see Claudia Zacchara on her front step.

"What?" Kate said quietly, but brusquely.

"Can I come in?" Claudia asked.

Kate left the door open and walked back into the living room, easing herself onto the couch.

"Do you even remember who you picked last night?" Claudia asked as she settled in the chair opposite her.

"You know, I need to get back to bed and sleep this off, so if you could please get to the point…"

"I wanted Ric, but you went and chose him first," Claudia said.

"Yes?" Kate said pointedly.

"I want to cheat on my husband with Ric, and it's kind of hard to do when you're the one going out with him. I mean, I would have a free and clear reason to spend a whole weekend with Ric and Sonny couldn't say a word."

"And you're getting to the point that I care about soon?"

Claudia sat on the couch next to Kate.

"Listen, Connie, I remember, in the not so distant past, parties at my father's house. I remember you specifically at these parties. You and Trevor."

Kate went impossibly pale.

"I have pictures from these parties," Claudia went on.

"You don't," Kate said in a hushed voice.

Claudia leaned in.

"Oh, but I do. You will have a lovely evening with Milo Giambetti, you will have dinner, an activity and you'll kiss him good night. And I will get my weekend with Ric."

"Then I guess we're trading…" Kate said, closing her eyes.

"I'll let Carly know," Claudia chirped as she headed for the door. "Make sure you drink lots of water. Champagne can kick your ass."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Man Draft

Part 4

Blondie Boots and Trabrasera

Rated: PG-13 for some suggestive dialogue and adult situations

Summary: A look into a few of the dates resulting from the man draft.

Author Notes: Yeah, it took a long time. We shouldn't have left you… Okay, enough song quotes. Here's the long awaited conclusion to the Port Charles Man Draft. Thanks for being patient and stalking.

Quote: "Come on! You're an apex predator! Make the 'grr' noise!" Grace Ryan growls ferociously.

"That's what she sounds like when I'm doin' her!"

Xander Crews, Frisky Dingo

Jason sat through the flight with Kelly Lee like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. When she wasn't trying to feel him up, Kelly was making comments ranging from the merely suggestive to the downright pornographic. Not to mention she'd gone through a bottle of champagne and her clothes were coming off.

He was at war with himself. He could easily see where he and Liz went wrong, he could see why she was upset, he understood all that intellectually. He was still irritated as hell that she'd left him open to all this.

He wasn't a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and Kelly was hot and willing. Most any other guy would have thanked his lucky stars and bought a gross of condoms. But Jason was realizing what he really wanted. And it wasn't one night stands (or weekends) with anyone other than Elizabeth.

But he persevered and waited for Kelly to pass out in vain. She drank like a fish and had the constitution of a rhinoceros. It looked like he was actually going to have to fend her off. He considered hiding in the bathroom until they landed, but dismissed it as more cowardly than he wanted to appear. No, he took his lumps and thought of ways to put Kelly off.

He could tell her he had an STD, but then that would get around and it was the last thing he wanted Elizabeth to think, that he was a man whore. He could say he had some kind of erectile dysfunction, but again, not anything he wanted to get around, and she probably brought Viagra anyway.

Finally, the plane landed and the disembarked and were in the limo. Jason suffered through another bout of roaming hands.

"This can wait until we get to the hotel room, right. Vehicular sex is not my thing," Jason said, holding onto her wrists gently.

Kelly smiled suggestively.

"I knew you wanted to bang me!" she crowed. "Okay, I can deal with the gentleman thing. But you have to rip my panties off with your teeth when we get to the hotel."

Jason clenched his teeth and took a deep breath.

'This is not what I signed up for…' he thought sliding as far away as he could and still be in the limo.

* * *

Lucky stood in the middle of the wrestling ring Alice had set up for their 'date'. Mouth guard and cup firmly in place, he waited nervously for the woman to come in.

Suddenly, loud music began to blare and the sound of a screaming crowd filled the room. Lucky looked around and was amused and concerned when he realized the song was Stone Cold Steve Austin's theme song and Alice was currently making her way to the ring.

She wasn't just 'making her way'. She was strutting, arms up, fists pumping, ensconced by the long black cape fluttering around her. Once she hopped over the top rope, she pulled a piece of fabric out of god know's where.

"What?" Lucky asked, bewildered and overwhelmed.

"It's your luchador mask. It's part of the date," she said, flushed with excitement.

"Where was that before you pulled it out?" Lucky asked fearfully.

* * *

Maxi and Spinelli were enjoying their evening at the local carnival. Maxi was killing at the duck shoot and dart toss, winning all the huge stuffed animals. Spinelli had spent 30 dollars on each and didn't have so much as a tiny teddy.

"Don't feel bad," Maxi said handing him the huge purple gorilla she'd just won at the ping pong toss. "I've had a lot of practice. You know, it's like 'beer pong, except I'm better at it 'cause I don't have to take a drink every time I miss."

"You haven't missed much," Spinelli said, grudgingly accepting the gorilla.

"Now you're jealous…" she sighed. "Come on, I'm from Texas, so there's a pretty good chance I've got some carny blood running through these veins. On my mom's side."

Spinelli finally smiled and tucked the gorilla under his arm.

"Time to lose our elephant ears on the tilt a whirl," Maxi said, taking Spinelli by the hand and leading him away.

Spinelli shrugged off the last of his irritation and committed himself to having a good time.

However, once off the tilt a whirl, he felt vaguely nauseous and disoriented. Which is why he didn't really hear what Maxi said as they got off the ride.

'What? That didn't sound right…' Spin thought, hand on his fore head. 'Did she just say she wanted a roll in the hay? Or was it something about a good day? Hell, she could have said she was going to need an x-ray after that ride and I wouldn't be sure what she said.'

Spin decided to shake it off and sit down with his head between his knees. Maxi sat next to him and rubbed his back consolingly, saying that if he threw up she wasn't going to hold his hair back. Which made no sense, since he'd already stylishly coiffed it back.

He redeemed himself later by guessing the jelly beans in a jar, to within 3 beans and winning a hundred bucks. Maxi was excited, because now he could pay for more nachos and cotton candy and elephant ears and funnel cake and sugary drinks.

Once they were exhausted and thoroughly upset to their stomachs, they made their way to the exit.

Maxi laced their arms together and leaned on her friend.

"You were really cool when I told you I was gay earlier," she said.

Spinelli stopped.

"What?"

She looked at him, confused.

"Earlier, when I told you I was gay… When we got off the tilt a whirl."

Spin shook his head.

"That was not what I thought you said when I was trying to figure out before I almost threw up," Spinelli said in shock.

"What did you think I said?" she asked innocently.

"That you were having a totally great day, or you needed an x ray after the ride. I didn't hear gay. Although, I was on the verge of emptying the contents of my stomach on the ground…"

Maxi smiled at Spinelli.

"Spin, I am totally gay," she deadpanned.

Spinelli quirked up an eyebrow.

"But you have rela-"

"Yes, with men. I'm aware. But then I was thinking about things and I realized why those relationships didn't work. It's because I'm gay."

Spinelli furrowed his brow.

"But… but… uh…," he stammered a bit. "Are you absolutely sure? Do you have empirical evidence?"

Maxi grinned evilly.

"Are you asking me without asking me if I ever got it on with a chick?"

Spinelli stared at his shoes.

"To answer your question, Spin, I have empirical, or whatever, evidence. I'm a lesbo. Chicks dig me. They think I'm hot. You're not gonna go all weird on me, are you?"

Spinelli looked at his best friend.

"Maximista, nothing about you could 'weird me out'. Just try to refrain from dropping bombshells when I'm suffering from vertigo and trying to keep down my elephant ears."

Maxi threw her arms around Spin.

"Done. But I am gonna need your help with some torture I was devising. See, I was planning on telling you, then Robin, then Mac and then coming out to the population in general. But after that, I was gonna corner Lucky and tell him it was his fault I'm gay. You know, that his super power was having sex with a girl and turning her off to dick for the rest of her life."

Spinelli looked at her dubiously.

"Or… or… you could help torture Lulu. I was gonna start making subtle passes at her and get her thinking I was hot for her and then when she rebuffed me, I was gonna start crying and telling her that it was her brother's fault I was gay and I needed to do it with another Spencer to un-gay me and it was her or Luke."

Maxi smiled wickedly. Spinelli just stood in awe of Maxi's devious plans.

"I'm glad we're friends, Maximista," he said, putting his arm back I hers.

"Oh yeah," she said moving in next to him. "You totally don't want to be on my bad side."

* * *

Back at the hotel, Jason was pacing. Kelly had just taken her things into he huge in suite bathroom and told him to 'suit up' while she got herself freshened up. While he wanted to run out of the room, he was too much of a gentleman and he'd agreed to this 'date'.

He hadn't agreed to being molested and used as a sex toy for a horny ob/gyn. Jason felt trapped and he began panicking.

'I'm not cheating, technically. Elizabeth and I are… But I'm not into Kelly that way. She's alright, if completely transparent. I did this to be with Elizabeth. It fucking sucks that she didn't pick me.'

He continued to pace.

'Why wouldn't she pick me? I know she's angry… I need to make it up to her. I will. But I can't make it up to her after having sex with one of her friends…'

He paused.

'I'll leave a note. I'll write a note telling Kelly I'll pay for everything and then some if she'll just call it good and not freak out. I'll write a note and leave it on the table.'

Jason practically ran across the room and pulled a writing pad out of the top drawer of the desk. He scribbled a note and set it on the bed, propped up on the clock he'd taken off the night stand.

'Okay, she'll see that and I'll still have time to make it to the exit.'

Jason grabbed his bag and jacket and opened the door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"How did you get _here_?" he asked, completely confused.

She pushed him back into the room with out a word.

* * *

"I told you, Mr. Luke's son, when I get you upside down to tuck your head between my legs and rest your shoulders on my thighs. I also told you to keep your body relaxed in a tucked position for when I drop down. But you didn't listen and tensed up at the point of impact and I dropped you on your head. Completely your fault."

"I thought wrestling was supposed to be fake. I didn't think it was really gonna hurt." Lucky said lying in the fetal position on the hospital bed.

"It is," Alice said, "But you have to practice to make sure nobody gets hurt. That's why you have to listen to directions, Mr. Luke's son."

The intern on call walked into the room shortly there after.

"All your brain scans came back fine. You're going to have a hell of headache for a while and we're going to put you in a neck immobilizer, but other than that you'll be fine. We'll be taking the halo off shortly since we're sure you don't have any spinal injuries."

"Is that one of those dog funnel thingies?" Lucky asked.

Alice rolled her eyes and the intern smirked.

"No, you don't have any stitches we're afraid you'll gnaw at. An immobilizer wraps around your neck to keep you from bending or turning it. It's just precautionary."

"Oh," Lucky said stupidly, and Alice rolled her eyes again.

"When you're all better, I want to finish my date," she said irritably.

* * *

She backed him up all the way to the bed and gave him a quick shove down onto it.

"I…" Jason said. "I…"

"Even more articulate than usual."

"I wasn't expecting you to be at the door…" he replied.

"You were expecting your would be molester?"

Jason sighed.

"I wouldn't put it passed her to sneak out another door and make sure I couldn't escape."

Liz smiled and straddled his lap.

"She's, what? A buck five soaking wet, you could've taken her…"

Jason shook his head.

"I can't believe you put me through this?"

"Seriously? You can't believe it? This sounds exactly like something I would do. It helps that I had a willing co-conspirator in Kelly. I told her she could grope you as much as she wanted as long as she kept it above the groin and just a little under the sweater action."

"Thanks for pimping me out to your friends…"

"You're welcome. I got my purple suit and mink, along with my gold fronts and goblet on back order with Pimps R Us. You can call me 'A Pimp Named Elizabeth Webber'."

"Really? I think your pimp name should be 'Check Me Out, I Suck'," Jason said, smiling up at her as he made the inappropriate hand and mouth gesture along with the phrase.

Elizabeth laughed.

"You do that really well. Maybe I'm pimping you out to the wrong team…"

Jason pulled Liz in close, rolling her onto her back on the bed.

"You know you're going to pay for that, right?"

"Let's see what you got…" Liz said, grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him deeply.

* * *

Kelly threw herself on the California king size bed, panting.

"That… was… amazing," she said as she gasped for air.

Next to her, finally able to fully draw breath, Cody smiled.

"Aimin' to please, Doctor Kelly…" he replied.

She smiled back.

"You don't have to call me Doctor Kelly anymore. That was just for the first round. Now I want you to call me DK…"

"Dick killer?" he teased. "The slayer of the penis?"

"You know you loved it."

"I did. I do."

"Okay, I'm going to untie you know and hit the shower. I want you ready for round two by the time I'm back," she said pulling the Velcro away from his wrists.

Cody rubbed his slightly chafed wrists.

"I can keep pretending I knew nothing about your devious plan, right?" he asked, sitting up.

"Absolutely. Don't want to get you in trouble with your boss right after I get you broken in…" she said as she walked into the bathroom, turning and throwing him a wink.

"The woman is wild," he said to himself as he laid back on the bed.

The End.


End file.
